昨天中午跟一个朋友喝酒，可能是喝到假酒了吧
整个下午以及晚上头疼欲裂，深夜不能入眠
感觉人特别脆弱，想找人聊聊天
然后给一些朋友打了几个电话，想了很多事情
终于作下了决定，跟以前的事情都划上一个界吧
所以今天起了个大早
ps. 开始记录这件事情的时候，我突然想到了辛欣的这句歌词
“电话里妈妈让我快点回家去，她比你更明白我所受的委屈”
这句歌词其实是很早的时候从一部很老的电视剧叫《非你不可》中知道的
所以用它来作标题
真是一件值得庆祝的事情，希望不要再封了。
转自“星梦家园”的空间http://user.qzone.qq.com/54827491/blog/1207143213
没有你的这五年–纪念“哥哥”
……2003……
2003年4月1日，空了的新清零，从这一天开始为你，刻下每一个没有你的日子，像你还在唱《由零开始》。
2003，非典时期的离别。你是年度头条，与你并列的是非典的疫情报导，诡异的两个新闻头条，多年后想来，仍是荒诞。跟你熟悉的娱记删了你皱纹上脸的照片，把你最艳丽的照片靓出来，放在最抢眼的版面，电视轮番播放你的演唱会。但你知道吗？梅艳芳最终没能度过新年，12月30日急急追你而去。
《胭脂扣》，十二少辜负了如花，但你在现实中实现了这个要命的承诺。究竟戏如人生还是人生如戏？哥哥，那飞跃性别的情谊，在你们的故事里，绽放天真。
还有你们念念不忘的歌剧，你的《偷心》剧本，成了岸边搁浅的小船。
这一年，大家不得不承认，香港娱乐圈的巨星时代结束—香港娱乐圈的辉煌时代，连同巨星必须具备的自恋气质和个人魅力，统统消失。
……2004……
荒芜的娱乐圈，今年城内星闻叫人沮丧。艺人藏毒，黄霑去世……但有件事你听到会大笑：与你《恋战冲绳》、戴着“很多克拉”砖戒搓麻将的王菲跟内地红小生李亚鹏花事了，她的北京腔更地道了，只是你不会再模仿她了吧；如果再约逛街买衫，她也不会让你和唐唐在饭店门前等一个多小时了吧。
这一年，对于在歌坛告别又复出的你来说，一定很欣慰：歌神许冠杰复出，红馆38场热烈的演唱会，叫人想起你1995年复出，被称之为救市之作的《宠爱》横扫劲歌榜全球销量破200万张的盛景。
这一年，张曼玉成为首位华人康城影后。是的，就是跟你在《缘分》。《阿飞正传》、《东成西就》、《东邪西毒》里合作过的，在臻于完美和精致的道路上从来不输于你的张曼玉。而这些红星云集的香港老电影，每次看都得向时光借青春，才敢重温你耀眼的容颜。不论王菲还是张曼玉，女人，始终是坚强的动物，总能把日子过得风生水起。
……2005……
今年香港影坛、歌坛都是最热闹的一年。
刘德华《再说一次我爱你》、《童梦》连续面世。不老的男子，差别可以这么大。
郭富城《三岔口》拿下金马奖影帝。
张学友在《如果·爱》中展歌喉、秀舞姿。
黎明在《七剑》后出演《情谊我心知》，每个人又都灵活了起来。
这四位天王此外还分身有术，各自开多场演唱会。
热闹的一年，你也该在。李安带着《断背山》在好莱坞至全世界影坛轰动了一把，很多人又想起了你。可我没有，我真心为华人电影高兴，我想你也会的。
据报导，内地人和香港人最喜欢的哥哥的电影不一样。想也知道。内地人喜欢《霸王别姬》，惊艳于你上妆后摄人心魂的唇红齿白，眼波流转。这样一部获奖大戏，连其中扮演你“娘”的蒋雯丽也在日后撑着娱乐圈的小半拉天。她已到扮演离婚女人的年龄，你用纵身一跃保有了年轻。看着电视上歇斯底里的蒋雯丽，你会想到甚么？
……2006……
今年娱乐圈是非从阿娇换衣被偷拍开始，当年小女生TWINS在你旁边学做大明星的样子你还记得吗？她们长大了。广告满街飞，电影不间断，唱片也在一直在发。这只是炒作没有明星的娱乐圈，我更想念你了，你当初该多教教他们。
《霸王别姬》后，陈凯歌一直在玩，一部《无极》直叫娱乐圈风起云涌，自然界生灵涂炭。谢霆锋和张柏芝接拍《无极》后，昭告天下两个活宝结婚了。天堂里的人心如明镜吧，会祝福他们吗？
郭富城拿奖上瘾。今年凭《父子》连庄金马奖。扬眉吐气后，感情也放开手脚，与模特的绯闻都懒得解释。别人封王封侯，别人改朝换代，别人江山美人，我想，你如果在，纪念正好50岁了……
50岁的你，也许已经导电影。今年距离《色情男女》整整10年，你连三级片都要拍好的誓言，犹在耳边。你的女演员，像戏中一样，越来越好—商业片文艺片的成绩均傲人。
1994年跟你在《金枝玉叶》中谈了场浪漫的恋爱并获金像奖影后的袁咏仪，肯定早跟你说过，她喜欢生孩子不喜欢结婚。今年，她生下了一个可爱的小男生，孩子他爸，你也认识的。
顺便说，你很多老朋友，已当上孩他爸孩他妈，小日子经营得很像回事。任达华当爹、王菲二度当妈、吴君如生千金……
……2007……
追求完美是你的本性，另一个力求完美的男人—李安，今年又震撼了影坛。《色·戒》，你的老对手梁朝伟出演男主角，在你曾经喜欢的城市—上海，谱了曲爱歌。
毛舜筠。这个有能力改变你命运的女人，她也是好好的。05年在《早熟》的表现终于获得金像奖最佳女配角，今年则出演《老港正传》，看到她就像看到你的心事。
红姑比《纵横四海》多了沧桑，她那才子老公你有在天堂碰见吗？
除了陈奕迅，歌坛越来越少歌星。可说到歌技与容颜皆优美的人，我很难向你汇报。另外，粉丝越来越专业化、规模化、职业化。明星越来越业余化。
……2008……
你曾亲自为他制做专辑，他也确实很招人疼爱。可他是个炸弹，春节时引爆了香港娱乐圈，这就是08年最轰动的艳照门事件。身为长辈，我挺想知道，如果你还在，会跟他说些什么呢？
老爸老妈的浪漫史
觉得这几句话太经典了
BTW, Blog的访问来源有点奇怪
4月7日的Physcal Review Letters出版了杨伟涛的一篇解决密度泛函理论中由交换关联函数引起的大体系计算的离域和局域误差的文章(PRL,100,146401)，我想这篇文章肯定会成为本领域的经典之作，即使不成为经典，也会是一篇非常重要的文章。
事实上，这个问题很多人都注意到了，当然也包括我。只是我没有想到如此简单的方法可以解决。
话说俺的Gmail，什么都好，就是垃圾邮件忒多
在Prof. Wang的blog上看到的
New York Times
March 30, 2008
Essay
It’s Not You, It’s Your Books
By RACHEL DONADIO
Some years ago, I was awakened early one morning by a phone call from a friend. She had just broken up with a boyfriend she still loved and was desperate to justify her decision. “Can you believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “He hadn’t even heard of Pushkin!”
We’ve all been there. Or some of us have. Anyone who cares about books has at some point confronted the Pushkin problem: when a missed — or misguided — literary reference makes it chillingly clear that a romance is going nowhere fast. At least since Dante’s Paolo and Francesca fell in love over tales of Lancelot, literary taste has been a good shorthand for gauging compatibility. These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding. When it comes to online dating, even casual references can turn into deal breakers. Sussing out a date’s taste in books is “actually a pretty good way — as a sort of first pass — of getting a sense of someone,” said Anna Fels, a Manhattan psychiatrist and the author of “Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives.” “It’s a bit of a Rorschach test.” To Fels (who happens to be married to the literary publisher and writer James Atlas), reading habits can be a rough indicator of other qualities. “It tells something about … their level of intellectual curiosity, what their style is,” Fels said. “It speaks to class, educational level.”
Pity the would-be Romeo who earnestly confesses middlebrow tastes: sometimes, it’s the Howard Roark problem as much as the Pushkin one. “I did have to break up with one guy because he was very keen on Ayn Rand,” said Laura Miller, a book critic for Salon. “He was sweet and incredibly decent despite all the grandiosely heartless ‘philosophy’ he espoused, but it wasn’t even the ideology that did it. I just thought Rand was a hilariously bad writer, and past a certain point I couldn’t hide my amusement.” (Members of theatlasphere.com, a dating and fan site for devotees of “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead,” might disagree.)
Judy Heiblum, a literary agent at Sterling Lord Literistic, shudders at the memory of some attempted date-talk about Robert Pirsig’s 1974 cult classic “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” beloved of searching young men. “When a guy tells me it changed his life, I wish he’d saved us both the embarrassment,” Heiblum said, adding that “life-changing experiences” are a “tedious conversational topic at best.”
Let’s face it — this may be a gender issue. Brainy women are probably more sensitive to literary deal breakers than are brainy men. (Rare is the guy who’d throw a pretty girl out of bed for revealing her imperfect taste in books.) After all, women read more, especially when it comes to fiction.
“It’s really great if you find a guy that reads, period,” said Beverly West, an author of “Bibliotherapy: The Girl’s Guide to Books for Every Phase of Our Lives.” Jessa Crispin, a blogger at the literary site Bookslut.com, agrees. “Most of my friends and men in my life are nonreaders,” she said, but “now that you mention it, if I went over to a man’s house and there were those books about life’s lessons learned from dogs, I would probably keep my clothes on.”
Still, to some reading men, literary taste does matter. “I’ve broken up with girls saying, ‘She doesn’t read, we had nothing to talk about,’” said Christian Lorentzen, an editor at Harper’s. Lorentzen recalls giving one girlfriend Nabokov’s “Ada” — since it’s “funny and long and very heterosexual, even though I guess incest is at its core.” The relationship didn’t last, but now, he added, “I think it’s on her Friendster profile as her favorite book.”
James Collins, whose new novel, “Beginner’s Greek,” is about a man who falls for a woman he sees reading “The Magic Mountain” on a plane, recalled that after college, he was “infatuated” with a woman who had a copy of “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” on her bedside table. “I basically knew nothing about Kundera, but I remember thinking, ‘Uh-oh; trendy, bogus metaphysics, sex involving a bowler hat,’ and I never did think about the person the same way (and nothing ever happened),” he wrote in an e-mail message. “I know there were occasions when I just wrote people off completely because of what they were reading long before it ever got near the point of falling in or out of love: Baudrillard (way too pretentious), John Irving (way too middlebrow), Virginia Woolf (way too Virginia Woolf).” Come to think of it, Collins added, “I do know people who almost broke up” over “The Corrections” by Jonathan Franzen: “‘Overrated!’ ‘Brilliant!’ ‘Overrated!’ ‘Brilliant!’”
Naming a favorite book or author can be fraught. Go too low, and you risk looking dumb. Go too high, and you risk looking like a bore — or a phony. “Manhattan dating is a highly competitive, ruthlessly selective sport,” Augusten Burroughs, the author of “Running With Scissors” and other vivid memoirs, said. “Generally, if a guy had read a book in the last year, or ever, that was good enough.” The author recalled a date with one Michael, a “robust blond from Germany.” As he walked to meet him outside Dean & DeLuca, “I saw, to my horror, an artfully worn, older-than-me copy of ‘Proust’ by Samuel Beckett.” That, Burroughs claims, was a deal breaker. “If there existed a more hackneyed, achingly obvious method of telegraphing one’s education, literary standards and general intelligence, I couldn’t imagine it.”
But how much of all this agonizing is really about the books? Often, divergent literary taste is a shorthand for other problems or defenses. “I had a boyfriend I was crazy about, and it didn’t work out,” Nora Ephron said. “Twenty-five years later he accused me of not having laughed while reading ‘Candy’ by Terry Southern. This was not the reason it didn’t work out, I promise you.” Sloane Crosley, a publicist at Vintage/Anchor Books and the author of “I Was Told There’d Be Cake,” essays about single life in New York, put it this way: “If you’re a person who loves Alice Munro and you’re going out with someone whose favorite book is ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ perhaps the flags of incompatibility were there prior to the big reveal.”
Some people just prefer to compartmentalize. “As a writer, the last thing I want in my personal life is somebody who is overly focused on the whole literary world in general,” said Ariel Levy, the author of “Female Chauvinist Pigs” and a contributing writer at The New Yorker. Her partner, a green-building consultant, “doesn’t like to read,” Levy said. When she wants to talk about books, she goes to her book group. Compatibility in reading taste is a “luxury” and kind of irrelevant, Levy said. The goal, she added, is “to find somebody where your perversions match and who you can stand.”
Marco Roth, an editor at the magazine n+1, said: “I think sometimes it’s better if books are just books. It’s part of the romantic tragedy of our age that our partners must be seen as compatible on every level.” Besides, he added, “sometimes people can end up liking the same things for vastly different reasons, and they build up these whole private fantasy lives around the meaning of these supposedly shared books, only to discover, too late, that the other person had a different fantasy completely.” After all, a couple may love “The Portrait of a Lady,” but if one half identifies with Gilbert Osmond and the other with Isabel Archer, they may have radically different ideas about the relationship.
For most people, love conquers literary taste. “Most of my friends are indeed quite shallow, but not so shallow as to break up with someone over a literary difference,” said Ben Karlin, a former executive producer of “The Daily Show” and the editor of the new anthology “Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me.” “If that person slept with the novelist in question, that would probably be a deal breaker — more than, ‘I don’t like Don DeLillo, therefore we’re not dating anymore.’”
